A Summer in Love | by NJ Family Photographer Pamira Bezmen
Having a "summer in love" means a completely different thing now at 39, as a mother and child photographer, than say when I was a young corporate gal, childless, traveling the world in my high heels with a Blackberry permanently attached to my thumbs.
Oh yes, I tremendously enjoyed the self discovery of young life, the excitement of traveling to India, China or Paris by myself, "on business" of all things, feeling a great sense of self-worth and accomplishment that some company trusted my talent and intellect enough to fork the bill for first class travel in a lay-flat seat... The little weekend I spent discovering Sydney, meeting the most gorgeous men created (apparently they all live in Australia), or walking barefoot in a traditional wedding outfit in Indonesia (but not getting married), trying to keep my head up right under the heavy crown... The yoga retreats, the shoe shopping, buying strings and strings of pearls from the Far East... Taking a holiday in Mexico by myself, roaming through ruins with serious sunburn on my shoulders... Business dinners, sexy pencil skirts, long lashes coated with Blackest Black mascara, working out 5 days a week, marathon spin classes followed by close examination of my abs in the mirror, nights of dancing, Salsa and Bachata, days of meditation, falling in love with people - men and women, and countries, and life itself...
"A summer in love" was absolutely delicious before the baby.
But then something really amazing happened. Once I held my baby in my arms, I fell in love so deeply in so many ways that all the love in the world rushed into my room, and into my very heart.
It was like India, China, Paris, Istanbul, the Greek Islands, Puerto Rico, Germany, Australia, the world's loveliest mountain tops and valleys, rivers and oceans, the toughest work-outs and the most serene meditations were combined into this one little room where everything existed all at once. All the excitement and love was trapped in a 7-pound piece of flesh that came equipped with a grand soul. She was my past, my now and my future.
All my passion for nude photography and architecture went out the window. My desire to capture still life was replaced with a desire to capture actual, live moments. My interest in styling pretty women was replaced with an interest to style babies in a way that would capture their innocence and personality.
Now I can honestly say I could care less about one more pair of high heels or another long-haul business trip.
I wake up to the snuggles of a little person, and after feeding her, playing with her, and caring for her, I gulp down my black coffee and run to the door to greet my clients, who walk through the door with their own 7-pound piece of preciousness.
For a couple of hours I roll all over the floor to capture her beauty. I get peed and pooped on. I burp her and hold her and sing to her. I get teary eyed thinking about how much love I feel for her and all the babies I photograph. I sometimes cry in front of my clients because my heart swells with so much love that I can't contain myself. I stay up most nights retouching images. Some days I work longer hours than I did in corporate life, but I cannot call it work.
Looking back at this summer, I'm noticing once again how quickly it flew by. But I have fallen in love so many times that I can't feel sad about the passing time. With my own daughter, and many little boys and girls, some were a couple of days old, some were a few weeks old, and some were very, very old, like 4 or 5 or 7 years old ! :)
They have each given me great joy and I have left a piece of my heart with each one of them.
To me, this is "A Summer in Love".
All the people in the world: I hope you all find your own summer in love. Wherever it may be, whatever it may be.. may it be full of love.